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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny horse games and other funny jokes |
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Letter Joke
Why is the letter N the most powerful letter? Because it is in the middle of TNT.
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Mad Joke
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man. 'There is more than one type?' 'Look around, ' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. 'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras, ' replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?' Still confused the man asked, 'What is the difference between them?' The lady responded, 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills. '
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Book title Joke
Who Saw Him Go? by Wendy Leeve
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Stupid Men
1. What are three little words you'll never hear a man say?
'I'll get it'
2. What are three little words you'll never hear a man say?
'It's my turn. '
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Totally Weird Joke
Love, you can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun. - George Bernard ShawOne cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: 'Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly. ' Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. - Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night. - Carrie SnowBy all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. . . and that is a good thing for any man. - SocratesMarriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman. - Herbert SpencerSomeone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. - Gloria SteinemIf you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody in the whole wide world, don't trust him. It means he experiments. A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth; with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. - Frank P. TebbettsAt American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom. - Calvin TrillinA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana TurnerI do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-aged couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. - TynanThe first time you buy a house, you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time, you look to see if the basement has termites. It's the same with husbands. - Lupe ValezMarriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. - VoltaireMarriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae WestBachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar WildeLong engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. - Oscar WildeWhy are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? - Virginia Woolf
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?A Frosted Flake.
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
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Law Enforcement Joke
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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