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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny happy new year messages and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Speeches
You know you're a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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Dumb Joke
A guy in a bar stands up and says, 'All lawyers are assholes. ' Another guy stands up and says 'Hey. . . I resent that. . . ' The first guy says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer?' The second guy says, 'No. I'm an asshole. '
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Kids School Joke
Why is a frog luckier than a cat?Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!
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Farmer Joke
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, 'You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud. ' So the farmer takes him home and says, 'It's your first day so take it slow, okay?' The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond. The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead. The farmer says, 'Roy, did you have to die?' Roy says, 'Quiet! They're about to land!'
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Political Joke
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?'The barman says, 'Yep, that's them. 'So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?'Bush says, 'We're planning WW III '. And the guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'Bush says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits. 'The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits?''Why kill a blonde with big tits?'Bush turns to Powell and says, 'See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!'
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Martinez, California:Gus Kramer faces an unusual challenge in his race for county assessor: His opponents would rather see a dead man elected. Kramer's only rival in the Contra Costa County race, Dan Hallissy, died of a heart attack April 10 -- too late for anyone else to run. But Hallissy's name will remain on the ballot for the June 7 nonpartisan primary. And the incumbent assessor is working to get him elected. Voters should have 'a chance to elect an honest, experienced person to this office, ' said assessor John Biasotti. A Hallissy victory would force a special election next March, open to any candidate. U. S. Representative Bill Baker, a Republican, also is backing the posthumous effort. His spokesman said voters should have a choice. Kramer, who briefly stopped campaigning to mark Hallissy's death, decried the effort as a 'classical case of cronyism. ' He said his opponents 'want the taxpayer to blow $'800
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beppe ! Beppe who ? Beppe Le Pew !
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Mad Joke
A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, 'Oh look, a dead bird, ' and the blonde looks up at the sky and goes, 'Where?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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