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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny handbags and other funny jokes |
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Book title Joke
Garden Water Features by Lily Pond
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Salesmen Joke
Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says 'Made in Cleveland. ' Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?
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Kids Joke
Little Johnny says to his mother ' Mommy, I have to go and tinkle. ' The mother replies back ' Would you like Mommy to take you?'. Little Johnny says ' No let grandma . . . her hand shakes! '
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Movie and TV Joke
What do you call a fight between film actors ? Star wars !
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Easter Joke
Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!
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Animal World
For all animal lovers out there:How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire. and. . . How do you make a dog go 'miaow'? Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw. . .
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Horse Joke
What is horse sense? Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!
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Computer Joke
Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner. Well, they both got right down to business, and wrote lines and lines and lines of code. But just before the four hours were up there was a flash of lightning and a tremendous clap of thunder. The lights flickered, the power faltered, and both computer screens went dead. When power was restored, God declared that time was up and asked to see the results of their work. Jesus flipped on his computer and displayed the most elegant program you could imagine, with beautiful architecture and wonderful syllogisms, triumphs of multimedia sound and pictures -- all kinds of bells and whistles. God asked Satan wha t he had created, but Satan said, 'I've got nothing, absolutely nothing. My program was twice as good as that, but I lost it all when the power went out. Jesus must have cheated. How could he still have such a great program?' God replied, 'Everybody knows -- Jesus Saves. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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