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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny halloween ideas and other funny jokes |
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Business Joke
There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywhere with him - a tall one for writing longhand, a short one for taking down shorthand, and a very small one for adding footnotes.
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School Joke
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends. They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare. They couldn't fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin. They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. 'Cool, ' they thought, 'this is going to be an easy final'. They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
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School Joke
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
'Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?' Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
'Jesus Christ almighty! !' Exclaimed Katie.
'Correct. ' Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up 'Who created Heaven and Earth?' Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil 'Jesus Christ almighty!' she exclaims.
'Correct again. ' Says the teacher.
So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie 'What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?'
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams 'If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!'
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Very Silly Joke
Irritated Wife: What do you mean by coming home half drunk?Hubby: It's not my fault. . . I ran out of money!
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, 'I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back. ' The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. 'Is your bet still good?', asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, 'If ya don't mind me askin
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Family Comedy Joke
Three nun's were touring the local zoo one sunny afternoon having a picnic. While wandering around, they entered the monkey house. Unfortunately, one of the nuns got to close to the gorilla cage and he pulled her inside. He savagely beat and raped the nun. It took 4 guards to pull the nun to safety. The nun spent three months in the hospital recovering and then was sent to a convent in England, for six months, to recover emotionally. Amazingly, the same three nuns met up again the next year in the park. The younger of the two asked her if she minded talking about the experience in the zoo. She said, 'Of course not'. The younger nun asked 'Did it hurt?'The sister replied 'Of course! He never called and he never wrote. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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