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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny groom speeches and other funny jokes |
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Dumb People Joke
Q:What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road? A:Milk and Quackers
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Computer Joke
* Mother taught the IF . . . THEN . . . ELSE structure: 'If it's snowing, then put your boots on before you go to school; otherwise just wear your shoes. ' * Mother explained the difference between batch and transaction processing: 'We'll wash the white clothes when we get enough of them to make a load, but we'll wash these socks out right now by hand because you'll need them this afternoon. ' * Mother also taught me about linked lists. Once, for a birthday party, she laid out a treasure hunt of ten hidden clues, with each clue telling where to find the next one, and the last one leading to the treasure. She then gave us the first clue. * Mother understood about parity errors. When she counted socks after doing the laundry, she expected to find an even number and groaned when only one sock of a pair emerged from the washing machine. Later she applied the principles of redundancy engineering to this problem by buying our socks three identical pairs at a time. This greatly increased the odds of being able to come up with at least one matching pair.
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Spelling Joke
Fred came home from his first day at school. 'Nothing exciting happened', he told his mother, 'Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her'
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Nuke the Whales.
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Children Joke
Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' she asked. 'Yes, please, ' replied Jimmy. 'What good manners you have, ' said his Gran. ' I do like to hear young people say 'please' and 'thank you'. ' 'I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake, ' replied Jimmy !
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Animal Joke
These 2 hunters was hunting one day and this one hunter fainted. The other hunter didn't know what to do, so he called 911. When the person answered the hunter told them that his partner was dead. The person on the other end said calm down and make sure your partner was dead and all of a sudden the person heard a gun shot and the hunter came back on the line and said ok he's dead for sure.
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Animal Joke
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. 'OK, follow me' he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. 'Now, do you see that tree over there?' he asked. 'Yes, Yes, Yes!' the bats all screamed in a frenzy. 'Good' said the bat, 'Because I sure as hell didn't!'
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Love and Marriage Joke
What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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