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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny golf cartoons and other funny jokes |
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, 'My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran. '
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School Joke
Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you? Pupil: How did you know? Teacher: Fred's paper says 'I don't know' and you have put 'Me, neither'!
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Dog Joke - 1
Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses? - A: From chasing cars.
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Spoof Joke
OK, let's consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs; the tallest ones, anyway.
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Doctor Joke
An elderly woman went into the doctors office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, 'Id like to have some birth control pills. ' Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, 'Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but youre 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?' The woman responded, 'They help me sleep better. ' The doctor thought some more and continued, 'How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?' The woman said, 'I put them in my granddaughters orange juice and I sleep better at night. '
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Internet Joke
How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet.
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Joke for Halloween
The Speed of Time by Age 0-9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: 'Is it Christmas yet?'10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings. 20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart. 30-39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: 'Is it Christmas already?'40-49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down?60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59?70 + Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they're over in a couple weeks.
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Funny Famous Joke
Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen? Yeah. . . the cops got nothing to go on.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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