|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny glitter pictures and other funny jokes |
|
Birthday Joke
Did you hear about the tree's birthday? It was a sappy one!
= = = = = = = = = =
Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Anya ! Anya who ? Anya best behavior !
= = = = = = = = = =
Children Joke
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentlessworld-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, 'Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificatesfiled and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you. 'The husband was thinking to himself, 'Oh no, what has hedone now?' and said with trepidation, 'Well what did you name them?'The brother replied, 'I named the little girl Denise. 'The husband, relieved, said, 'That's a very pretty name!What did you come up with for my son?'The brother replied, 'Denephew. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Mixed Joke
Artery -- Study of paintingsBacteria -- Back door of cafeteriaBarium -- What doctors do when treatment failsBowel -- Letter like A. E. I. O. UCaesarean section -- District in RomeCat scan -- Searching for kittyCauterize -- Made eye contact with herColic -- Sheep dogComa -- A punctuation markCongenital -- FriendlyD&C -- Where Washington isDiarrhea -- Journal of daily eventsDilate -- To live longEnema -- Not a friendFester -- QuickerFibula -- A small lieG. I. Series -- Soldiers' ball gameGrippe -- SuitcaseHangnail -- CoathookImpotent -- Distinguished, well knownIntense pain -- Torture in a teepeeLabor pain -- Got hurt at workMedical staff -- Doctor's caneMorbid -- Higher offerNitrate -- Cheaper than day rateNode -- Was aware ofOutpatient -- Person who had faintedPelvis -- Cousin of ElvisPost operative -- Letter carrierProtein -- Favoring young peopleRectum -- It almost killed himRecovery room -- Place to do upholsteryRheumatic -- AmorousScar -- Rolled tobacco leafSecretion -- Hiding anythingSeizure -- Roman emperorSerology -- Study of knighthoodTablet -- Small tableTerminal illness -- Sickness at airportTibia -- Country in North AfricaTumor -- An extra pairUrine -- Opposite of you're outVaricose -- Located nearbyVein -- Conceited
= = = = = = = = = =
Cow Joke
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
= = = = = = = = = =
American Joke
A man owned a small farm in Maine . The Maine State Wage & Hour Department, claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally. '
'That's the guy I want to talk to -- the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
= = = = = = = = = =
Kids Joke
'Say, how old are you anyway ?' the reporter asked as theobviously young lass was disrobing. 'Thirteen. ' she replied with a shy smile. 'Thirteen ??? My God girl !!! You get those clothes back on atonce and get the hell outta here ! Are you crazy ?' he thundered. Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphetsmiled and said, 'Superstitious, huh ?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Free Adult Joke
If you're feeling a bit stressed, try these to deal with it. . . Dance naked in front of your pets. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong. (NOTE: this also works well with the hubby who stayed at the pub too long. )Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once. (Always have a witness on hand, just in case you attempt the Guiness World Record)Tattoo 'out to lunch' on your forehead. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. Find out what a frog in a blender 'really' looks like. (Hamster in the microwave works well too. )Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg. ('Don't knock it until you try it!')Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. Make up a language and ask people for directions. (Works great at 7-11's!)Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper. (KIDS: make sure you make a nice note titled - For Daddy, I love you. )++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ NOTES and DISCLAIMERS:If you are less than 18 years of age: always seek your parent's aproval before attempting any of the above. (Exemption: If the hamster bites you again, nuke him till he glows!)If you are 18 years of age or older and even think about doing any of these: proceed to the nearest telephone book directory. Look up 'clinical psychologist'. . . drive directly to the first one that accepts 'walk-ins!'++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
