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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny girls show blackpool and other funny jokes |
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Business Joke
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population. Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!
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Love and Marriage Joke
Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
'Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do,' said Irving.
'Sounds great,' Morris replied, 'but how do you make it last for an hour?'
'Just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!'
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Simple Joke
The story takes place in a Christian school. The teacher asks the question, 'What part of your body gets to heaven first?'Three students raise their hand, Jenny, Jim, and little Johnny in the back. The teacher thinks to herself, 'I dont want to call on Johnny cause he will say something bad. 'So she picks on Jenny first who says, 'I think your head gets to heaven first cause you have to be smart. 'The teacher then calls on Jim who says, 'I think your heart gets to heaven first cause you gotta have a good heart. 'Finally Johnny is the only one with his hand up. The teacher says to herself 'Oh no, I gotta pick Johnny. ' She picks him and he says, 'I think your feet get to heaven first. 'The relieved teacher asks him, 'Why on earth do you think your feet get to heaven first?'Johnny says, 'Cause I walked into my Mom and Dad's room last night and my mom's feet were straight up in the air and she was shouting 'Oh God I'm cummin'!''
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Car and train Joke
Policeman: Why did you crash into that stop sign? Motorist: I was only following orders.
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Snake Joke
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ? A snake charmer !
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Business Joke
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. 'Boss', he said, ' The pill actually worked!' 'That's all fine' said the boss, ' But where were you yesterday?'
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Sport Joke
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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