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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny girls barnsley and other funny jokes |
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Business Joke
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make 'cold calls' on clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.
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Worlds Best Joke
Top Ten Signs your Local TV Weatherman Is Nuts10. Every night, his forecast is: 'It's raining men, hallelujah!'9. Often asks anchorwoman to switch clothes with him. 8. Uses expensive radar equipment to track Michelle Pfeiffer. 7. 'Satellite photos' look suspiciously like Polaroids of a desk globe. 6. Appears to have the first spring robin in his mouth. 5. Seen checking into a Motel 6 with a half-inflated weather balloon. 4. Every night he says, 'Lordy mama, it's gonna rain root beer tomorrow!'3. The symbol on his weather map for an arctic cold front is a snowman giving the finger. 2. Looks a lot like this pinhead. (videotape of Dave in his TV weatherman days)1. He's got a tropical storm in his pants.
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Animal World
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, 'I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?'An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, 'I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too. '
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Car and train Joke
What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.
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Clean Joke
So there is a cow and a chicken. And the cow goes. . . Baak!Baak! LOL (why would a cow go baak!?!) LOLAnd. . . LOL. . . the chicken goes . . . LOL. . . Moo!LOL(why would a chicken say moo!?!) . . . .
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Blonde Joke - 3
What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
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Insect Joke
How can you tell which end of a worm is which ? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see any!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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