|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny gifts and other funny jokes |
|
Funny Kids Joke
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?Light ale!
= = = = = = = = = =
Dentist Joke
What does the dentist of the year get?. . . A little plaque.
= = = = = = = = = =
Totally Weird Joke
Here's Martha Stewart's Etiquette Guide for Rednecks!1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. ***************************DINING OUT1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the vine. 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. **********************ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table. . . no matter how good his manners are. ***********************PERSONAL HYGIENE1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. ****************DATING (Outside the Family)1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago. '3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say 'Monday. ' If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. **********************THEATER ETIQUETTE1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. ***********************WEDDINGS1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion. *******************DRIVING ETIQUETTE1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
= = = = = = = = = =
Bar Joke - 1
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. 'I'll bet you $10 he'll jump, ' said the first guy. 'Bet you $10 he won't, ' said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. 'I can't take your money, ' said the first guy. 'I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news. ' 'No, no. Take it, ' said the second guy. 'I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Totally Weird Joke
During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman from the back of the theater yelled out, 'Hey, how'd you do that?''I could tell you, madam', the magician answered, 'But then I'd have to kill you. 'After a short pause, she yelled back, 'Ok, then. . . Just tell my husband!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Dinosaur Joke
Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.
= = = = = = = = = =
Bumper Stickers - 7
What, are you stuck on stupid.
= = = = = = = = = =
Satire Joke
A new list of the 'World's Shortest Books':STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED-by Elizabeth TaylorBEAUTY SECRETS-by Janet RenoHOME BUILT AIRPLANES-by John DenverDOWN HILL SKIING-by Sonny BonoHOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL-by Dan MarinoFLYING AT NIGHT-by JFK, Jr. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL-by Hillary ClintonMY LIFE'S MEMORIES-by Ronald ReaganTHINGS I CAN'T AFFORD-by Bill GatesMY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. J. SimpsonTHINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY-by Dennis RodmanTHE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH-by the RamseysAMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEANAMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERSDETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDEDR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHESMIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTETHE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORYHELLEN KELLER'S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
