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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny games for kids and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. 'Why are you eating grass?', he asked one man. 'We don't have any money for food. ', The poor man replied. 'Oh, come along with me then. ' 'But sir, I have a wife with two children!' 'Bring them along! And you, come with me too!', he said to the other man. 'But sir, I have a wife with six children!' The second man answered. 'Bring them as well!' They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says 'sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. ' The rich man replied 'No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!'
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Celebrities Joke
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?
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Joke for Kids
The president was trying to keep his presidential promise by puttingmore women on his staff.
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Practical Joke
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet 8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT. ' 5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male. 3. You're counting down the days until menopause. 2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
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Criminal Joke
It was Rocky's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with his meager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of his cell, Rocky heard a voice call out '44' and the whole cell block erupted into laughter! Another voice called '16' and again there was laughter. A third voice called '62' which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didn't know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall. 'Yeah, whaddaya want?' came the gruff reply from next door. 'What's going on, here?' asked Rocky. 'Well, ' said the other inmate, 'down in the prison library there's only one joke book. We've all read the book so many times that we don't waste time telling the joke, we just call out it's number. ' So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r\nthe yellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. That night, wanting to be part of the group, Rocky confidently called out '44' and everyone laughed! He tried calling '16' and '62' and again there were peals of laughter. Then he called '57
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Joke for Dummies
Michael Irvin was complaining to Calvin Williams about his first trip to the Super Bowl and how hard it was to get any sleep the night before the big game. 'I was awakened at one, two and four in the morning by a drunk cheerleader banging on the door and screaming, ' he recalled. 'That's terrible, ' said Williams. 'How'd you ever get any sleep?''At five o'clock I finally unlocked the door and let her out, ' replied Irvin.
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Statistics and Math Joke
Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+. . . as 1/2((1/1 - 1/3) + (1/3 - 1/5) + (1/5 - 1/7) + (1/7 - 1/9) + . . . ). All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1/2. We can also re-write the series as (1/1 - 2/3) + (2/3 - 3/5) + (3/5 - 4/7)+ (4/7 - 5/9) + . . . All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1. Thus 1/2 = 1.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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