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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny gags and other funny jokes |
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College Humor
The next door neighbor of a middle-aged wife came over to inform her that her retired husband was chasing around after young prostitutes. The woman smiled, 'So what?'The neighbor was surprised, 'It doesn't bother you that he's running around with those women?'The woman replied, 'I also have a little dog who chases cars and buses, too. '
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Sport Joke
What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?Cold Trafford! How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?Somebody took a corner! Why didn't the dog want to play football?It was a boxer! What did they call Dracula when he won the league?The champire! Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?Paul gas coin! Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time?Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How?Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!
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School Joke
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
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Celebrities Joke
Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
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Animal World
A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and beganto boast about his past. 'Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 racesand won over 5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn. 'The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found thehorse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal. 'Oh, you don't want that horse, ' said the farmer. 'Yes I do, ' said the salesman, 'and I'll give you '10
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Teeth Joke
Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night.
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Mom Joke
Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping centre talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.
Sadie says 'You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother. '
Minnie says,'You call that love? You know the Mercedes I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll. '
Shirley says 'That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst in Harley Street. Five session a week. And what does he talk about? Me. '
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Cow Joke
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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