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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny fundraising ideas and other funny jokes |
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Computers Joke
Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: - Nobody would know about her if it weren't for Bill - She sucks - She blows - She's bloated - She's the focus of a huge legal battle - She'll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?
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Just for Laughs Joke
Late Nite Jokes heard on T. V. 'There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head. ' Jay Leno'We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves. ' David Letterman'It looks like now the military action is taking effect. They think that bin Laden's organization is starting to break down. Today satellite photos actually show the sand fleas are leaving his beard. ' David Letterman'There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our mail. ' Jay Leno'People are wondering what will happen to Afghanistan when we're finished fighting there. I'm sure there are plans to rebuild the country, and a lot of times with rebuilding comes a name change. These are some possible name changes the government has been mulling over: Halfghanistan, Pothole-istan, Jenniferanistan, Assbackwardstan, Bye-bye-Talibanstan, Ass-Kicked-istan. ' Jay Leno'Everybody is talking about finding bin Laden. How about finding Dick Cheney? Where did he go? What have we got caves over here now, too? Where did he go? I think his Secret Service code name is 'Waldo. ' Jay Leno'We are getting more and more insight into the life of Osama bin Laden. Today the Saudi Arabian ambassador to the United States said that bin Laden had an unhappy childhood growing up, 52 brothers and sisters. You think his childhood was unhappy, wait 'til we deliver his mid-life crisis. ' Jay Leno'There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country. ' Jay Leno
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Joke for Halloween
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says 'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it. 'Her friend asks 'What's the puzzle supposed to look like?'The blonde says 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger. 'So, the blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says:'First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. ''Second, I'd advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!'
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Ghost Joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ? Ban-she, ban-she !
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Ethnic Joke - 1
If you take an Oriental person and spin himaround several times, does he become disoriented?
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Cowboy Joke
What advice to cows give? Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!
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Monster Joke
What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey? 'Pleased to eat you!'
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Children Joke
Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?Teacher: Of course not!Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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