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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny football shirts and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
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Telephone Joke
Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operator: No, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along with you.
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Aviation Joke
Cessna: 'Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. '
Tower: 'Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!'
Cessna: 'Uh . . . tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is. '
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Easter Joke
What is the Easter Bunny's favourite sport? Basket-ball, of course!
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Bible Joke
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, 'Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothingseems to scare them away. Another said, 'Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away. ' The third said, 'I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. . . Haven't seen one back since!'
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Simple Joke
Farmer Brown had been screwing one of his pigs for 5 years, when all of a sudden he was hit by pangs of conscience. It bothered him so much that he decided that he just had to tell his priest about it in confession. The priest was shocked and could only say to Farmer Brown, 'Well, was the pig a male or a female?''A female, of course, ' shouted Farmer Brown!. 'What do you think I am. . . some sort of queer?'
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Dirty Joke
Three nuns were talking one sunny day in June. The first nun said, 'I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!''What did you do?' the other nuns asked. 'Well, of course I threw them in the trash, ' she replied. The second nun said, 'Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!''Oh my!' gasped the other nuns. 'What did you do?' they asked. 'I poked holes in all of them!' she replied. The third nun fainted.
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Comedy Joke
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. 'How was work, dear?' his wife asks. 'Listen! I don't want to talk about work!' he shouts. 'Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?' she asks nicely. 'Listen!' he shouts again. 'I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?' At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, 'Well, I guess it's that time of the month. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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