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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny flags and other funny jokes |
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Easter Joke
Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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Mom and Dad Joke
Laws of Household PhysicsEver notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples: 1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved. 2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one. 3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window. 4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed. 5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage. 6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight. 7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers. 8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature. 9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers. 10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies. 11. Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.
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Dirty Joke
A 90 year old man shows up for a physical. He tells the doctor he is about to marry a 20 year old girl. 'Really?' said the doctor. 'You're healthy enough, I suppose, but take my advice. If you want a happy marriage, you should take in a boarder. Do you know what I mean?'The old man says, 'OK, doc. I'll think about it. ' Six months later, the doctor sees the old man on the street. He asks him how his new marriage is working out. 'Great doc! In fact, my wife is pregnant. 'The doctor nods knowlingly and says, 'So you took my advice and took in a boarder?'The old man winked and said, 'Yep. And she's pregnant too!'
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Situations Humor
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. 'Quick, man, ' he whispered to the waiter, 'what did they say?' 'Nothing, ' replied the waiter. 'They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets. '
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Answer me this Joke
Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
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Top 100 Joke
How do you circumsize a redneck?You kick his sister in the chin!
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Just for Laughs Joke
Tennessee folks make fun of their northern Virginian neighbors with this quip: You know why birds fly upside down over Scott County, Virginia? 'Cause there ain't nothin' worth shittin' on up there!'
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Christmas Joke - 2
What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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