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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny fishing gifts and other funny jokes |
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Religion Joke
When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, 'I understand this is the home of the Mormon religion where husbands believe it's OK to have more than one wife. ' That's true, ' he replied, 'as a matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine wives. ' 'How disgusting, 'she said, 'you should be ashamed of yourself, such practices should be against the law and you ought to be hung. ' With a slight grin, he just said, 'Yes, mam I am. '
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Dumb Joke
A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!' The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!' Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
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Naughty Joke
Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus?Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. 'I call my man 'Eight, ' ' said the first woman, 'Because he's got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day. 'The second woman said in response, 'I call my man 'Ten'because his dongis ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night. 'The first woman then asked the third woman 'What do you call your man?'She answered ' 'Creme de Menthe. ' ''Why? Isn't' that a liqueur?' the other two wanted to know. 'Yep, it is, ' said the woman, continuing, 'yeah, you betcha!'
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Mental health Joke
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? 'Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?'
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Pig Joke
Where is the most open green space in New York City? Central Pork
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What's delaying the Polish space program? A: Development of a working match.
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Mother Joke
You know you're a mother when you're up each night until
10:00 pm, vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying,
loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing,
ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing
diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills,
budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to
bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling,
feeding, swinging, playing ball, bike riding, pushing
trucks, cuddling dolls, roller blading, catching, blowing
bubbles, running sprinklers, sliding, taking walks,
coloring, crafting, jumping rope, raking, trimming,
planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking
/feeding the dog.
You get up at 5:30 am, and you have no
time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet -
you still manage to gain ten pounds.
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Bird Joke
What is the difference between a fly and a bird ? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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