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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny figurines and other funny jokes |
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Clean Joke
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full 'Kiss' makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, 'Thou sucketh!'6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by 'Jeb Daddy. '5. Defiantly says, 'If I had a radio, I'd listen to disco!. '4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks. 3. Uses slang expression: 'Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening. '2. Was recently pulled over for 'driving under the influence of cottage cheese. '1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
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Travel Humor
A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually does serve beer. ) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: 'They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!' The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. 'And what's so funny?!?' the New Yorker demands. 'Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here for the food. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
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Marriage Joke
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. 'Are you hurt?' he asked. 'Of course I'm hurt!' she replied. 'Three times around and you didn't wave once!'
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Funny College Joke
You find yourself listening to talk radio. You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears. The pattern on your shorts and couch match. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit. You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend. You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath. You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it. You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day. When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate. When jogging is something you do to your memory. Getting a little action means your prune juice is working. All the cars behind you flash their headlights. You remember the 'Rolling Stones' as a rock group not a corporation. You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes. You actually ASK for your father's advice. You don't know how to operate a fax machine. When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Got Brains?
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Naughty Joke
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, 'Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin. ' 'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times?' 'Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband 2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband 3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband 4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband 5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband 6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband 7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband 8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. Husband 9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it. Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was. . . God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!' 'Good, ' said the new husband, 'but, why?' 'You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!'
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Joke for Kids
Did you hear about the tragedy in Poland? In Poland's largest shopping mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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