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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny female t shirts and other funny jokes |
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Kids Puns
Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:The first book of the Bible is Guinessis. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one alot when I was a kid. . . wait. . . I still do!)The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton. . . Monica who?)Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is. )Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What. . . they launch their Depends at 'em?)The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and residing in Hackensack, N. J. )Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. (Hey. . . he needed the extra pricks. )The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. (Hey testicle. . . I have headache. Aw SHUT UP an keep wandering!)
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Why can't you circumcise Iranians? - There's no end to those pricks.
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Cow Joke
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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Sport Joke
Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, 'Old MacDonald had a ________. 'Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. 'Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?'Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. 'Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM. ''Oh yeah, ' said Bubba. 'I remember now. 'He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, 'Tiny, how do you spell farm?''You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O. '
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Medicine Joke
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist ifthere is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comesback to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. 'Good, ' says the man. 'That means I must have really escaped. '
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Naughty Joke
It has been determined that having sex before participatingin athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does notimpair the athlete's performance. In fact, men have knownand displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glanceat their watches and say, 'Oops, gotta run!'
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Law Enforcement Joke
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too!Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street. A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance. When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, 'My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm. '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said 'DON'T WALK'.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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