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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny fathers day present and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Cellar ! Cellar who ? Cellar. No, I think she can be repaired !
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Snowman Joke
What did the snowman order at MacDonalds ? Icerbergers with chilli sauce !
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Dog Joke - 1
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: 'HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer. ' A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, 'I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type. ' The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, 'The sign says you have to be good with a computer. ' The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, 'I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job. ' The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, 'Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual'. The dog looked at the manager calmly and said 'Meow'.
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At Work Joke
The Perfect Worker1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be13 executed as soon as possible. Addendum:That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the reportsent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numberedlines.
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Mom Joke
Q: What is a genius?
A: An average student with a Jewish Mother.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.
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Mom Joke
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
'Pardon me,' she said, 'I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently. '
'I'm very sorry,' replied the young man, 'is there anything I can do for you?'
'Yes,' she said, 'As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better. '
'Sure,' answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, 'Goodbye, Mother!'
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127. 50.
'How can that be?' he asked, 'I only purchased a few things!'
'Your mother said that you would pay for her,' said the clerk.
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Dumb Men Joke
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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