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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny fancy dress costumes and other funny jokes |
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Free Adult Joke
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
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Joke for Speeches
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. 'Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, ' she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. 'I can't, ' says the woman. 'That's the only night I'm home with my husband!'
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Men Joke
Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs.
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Easter Joke
Where did the Easter Bunny go to college? Johns Hopkins!
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Comedy Joke
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said 'Who owns the big white horse outside?'The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, 'I do. . . Why?'The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, 'I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!'The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, 'Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better. 'Tonto said, 'Sure, Kemosabe' and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, 'Who owns that big white horse outside?'The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, 'I do, what's wrong with him this time?'The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, . . . . Nothin
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Joke for Speeches
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Momma, look what I found, ' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: 'I think it's Adam's suit!'
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Mad Joke
A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race. They were supposed to swim the English Channel. A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long. The blonde was very upset as she screamed, 'This was supposed to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their arms!!!'
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Ethnic Humor
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. 'Come have a look over here, ' says Paddy, 'it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87. ''That's nothing', says Sean, 'here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died. 'Just then, Shamus yells out, 'Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!''What was his name?' asks Paddy. Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, 'Miles, from Dublin. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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