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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny false teeth and other funny jokes |
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Very Silly Joke
This guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. 'Doc, I think my dick is just too damn small, ' he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. Well, American beer, ' he replies quite bemused. 'Aaaahhh. There's your problem, it shrinks things, those silly American beers. . you should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow. ' Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. 'I take it you now drink Guinness?' asked the doctor. 'Oh no, Doc, ' replies the man, 'but I've got the wife on American beer!'
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Law Enforcement Joke
'How long have you been driving without a tail light?' asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.
He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
'Come on, now,' he said, 'you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious. '
'It isn't?' cried the motorist. 'Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?'
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Book title Joke
The Laser Weapon by Ray Gunn
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Humor Joke
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew - gems in the rough, all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I've been working with a crew building a house all week'. 'My goodness gracious', said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week too'? 'I will if those useless morons at the lumber yard ever bring us the f****** bricks', replied the little girl.
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Monster Joke
Monster: Where do fleas go in winter? Werewolf: Search me!
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say 'Wow, is it Halloween already?'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry an eighteen year old girl. 'Now, Mr. Jenkins, ' the nurse practitioner warned, 'you should know that when a man your age marries an eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt. ' The old man shrugged, 'If she dies, she dies. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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