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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny engagement present and other funny jokes |
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Relationships Joke
A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. 'HA, ' he snorted, 'The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!' On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. 'There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me a fur coat. ' 'That's not your chest!' he roars back. 'Damn right it's my chest, ' she argued, 'Before we got married, this was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family chest. AND IF YOU DON'T BUY ME A FUR COAT, IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!'
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Parent Joke
Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.
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Funniest Joke
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
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Rabbit Joke
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
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Burger Joke
Which burgers are dishonest? Cat-burgers! (burglars)
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bjork ! Bjork who ? Bjork in the USSR !
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Best Joke Online
The Perfect Day According To. . . HER8:45 - Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 - 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 - Light breakfast11:00 - Sunbathe12:30 - Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 - Shopping2:30 - Run into husband's ex - notice she's gained 30lbs. 3:00 - Facial, massage, nap7:30 - Candlelight dinner for two and dancing10:00 - Make love11:30 - Pillow talk in his big strong armsHIM10:00 - Wake up10:02 - SEX10:10 - Big Breakfast11:30 - Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters2:15 - Enormous lunch with BEER3:15 - SEX3:25 - Play sports with the guys4:30 - Drink BEER with the guys6:30 - Meet Claudia Schiffer6:40 - SEX6:50 - Huge dinner, more BEER8:00 - Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer11:00 - Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER11:10 - Sleep2:30 - Fart
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Practical Joke
More One-liners worth passing on. . . Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious. In two words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. S$$T HAPPENS!. Accept than some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. The best vitamin for making friends: B1. If you can't be the tablecloth, don't be the dishrag. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. There are two rules for ultimate success in life: (1) Never tell everything you know. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get any worse. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. You'll never be the man your mother was!Drive defensively. Buy a tank. Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance. Don't cook tonight -- starve a rat today!God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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