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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny email christmas cards and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
Daughter: 'I'm homesick. '
Mother:: 'But this is your home. '
Daughter: 'Yes I know, and I'm sick of it. '
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School Joke
College by Dave Barry Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college. ) College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college: * Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of your pajamas. * Things you will not need to know in later life ('1
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Gorilla Joke
Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!
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Hunting Joke
What's a big game hunter? Someone Who's lost his way to the match.
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Priceless Joke
Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job. One day, a woman comes to the stand, 'Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?''I dont know', replies the stupid cashier. The woman leaves unsatisfied. THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!!!!''10 cents? I will have to remember that' said the cashier. The next day, another woman comes 'hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?''10 cents ma'am''Really?, are they fresh?''I dont know'So the woman leaves. The boss, having spied this screams 'WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?'So the cashier memorizes 'Yes, very fresh'The next day, another woman comes and says 'Hey sonny, now much do those cigaretts cost?''10 cents' He replies. 'Are they fresh?''Very fresh''Should I buy them?''I dont know'So the woman leaves. The boss having seen this goes to scream at him again 'YOU MORON, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT, YOU HAVE TO SAY 'If you dont, somebody else will' OK?''ok, gotcha boss'So the next day, the little shop gets robbed by a guy with a gun. He goes up to the cash register and screams 'HEY, how much money is in that cash register?' '10 cents sir''WHAT? ARE YOU BEING FRESH TO ME?''Yes, very fresh sir''SHOULD I SHOOT YOU?''If you dont, somebody else will'
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Aardvark Joke
What does the aardvark take sailing? An aard ark!
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Religious Joke
Paul says to Jesus, 'Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?' Jesus says, 'Just hanging around. '
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Horse Joke
Have you read the book, '100-mile Horse Trek' Who wrote it? Major Bumsore
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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