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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny email cards and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
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Dirty Joke
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.
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Free Adult Joke
The two put together have an IQ over 150. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead. There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. -- Woody Allen They must have done a clean boot on him. Thick as a brick / whale omelette. Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly. Thinks 'Private Enterprise' means owning a personal starship. Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure. Thinks at 5 baud. Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms. Thinks E=MC^2 is a rap star. Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like it or not. thinks in lower case and types accordingly Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch. Thinks male zebras are the ones with the black stripes. Three chickens short of a henhouse. Three miracles shy of being where he thinks he's at. Three-bag/coyote ugly. (Ask your mommy to explain. ) Throws his rod and reel off the bridge when casting. Too dumb to be bothered when publically displaying her ignorance. Too many birds on her antenna. Too many jokers and not enough aces in his deck. Too many stop bits in his transmissions. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Too pointless to even be called a pinhead. Took the little bus to school. Top paddock is full of rocks. Toys in the attic. Train of thought derailed / still boarding at the station.
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Ouch Joke
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG ! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN ! Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins. The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO ! Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino. The deep voice says: ROULETTE ! So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. The deep voice says: 27 ! He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stops at the 26. The deep voice says: SHIT !
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Cop Joke
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, 'Is there a problem, Officer?' 'No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $'5
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Weird Women Joke
AGE DRINK 17 Wine Coolers 25 White wine 35 Red wine 48 Dom Perignon 66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A. A rebel without a clue!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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