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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny email birthday cards and other funny jokes |
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Relationships Joke
I overheard a friend telling his pal, 'I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning. ''What is she doing?', the pal asks. 'Waiting for me to get home. '
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Computer Joke
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec. bat file. He said it said 'File not found'. I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec. bat listed. He said, 'Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat. ' I said type this in 'type autoexec. bat'. Again he got 'File not found'. I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed. He said, 'I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.
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Village Idiot Joke
What has eight legs and an IQ of forty? Four guys watching a baseball game.
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Legal Humor
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a heck of a lot better than the penalty for murder!
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Money Joke
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
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Mad Joke
An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks, 'Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?''Worse, ' says the doctor. 'It's frostbite!'
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Clinton Joke
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: 'How could you have let this happen? With all That's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you??!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???' There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, 'Did you hear me??!!' Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, 'Who is this?'
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College Humor
A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other shot in his hand, the man did this 3 times before the bartender finally asks him ----why is it you drink 1 shot and pour the other in your hand. The man replies, I'm getting my girl friend drunk!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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