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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny eid cards and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
2 BLONDES WALK INTO A BUILDING. . . . . WOULDN'T YOU THINK AT LEAST ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE SEEN IT??
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Funny Famous Joke
Actual writings on hospital charts by Doctors:1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful. 8. The patient refused autopsy. 9. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. She is numb from her toes down. 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 15. The skin was moist and dry. 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 25. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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Website Joke
Why do you keep going back to that fishing website? I can't help it, I'm hooked.
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Snake Joke
Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.
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Weather Joke
What are the hottest days during summer? Sun-days
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Bicycle Joke
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself? Because it was two-tyred.
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Best Joke Online
A loud American, looking for properties to buy out in Australia is in the bar of the Railway Hotel. 'Yeah, ma'am' he says to the barmaid ' ah'm looking to buy me a ranch- stations, you call them, so they tell me. Ah come from Texas and ah'm looking for a big spread because where I come from in Texas, everythang is BIG. Why, do you know, mah ranch in Texas is so big, it takes a whole week to ride around it on a horse?''Yeah?' says a wizened station hand sitting at the bar. 'If we had a horse like that we'd turn it into glue. '
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
Tom Thumb told Thumbelina a joke . . .
it was a MINI HA HA!
Tom Thumb was so small that he had to drink condensed milk!
Tom Thumb was so tiny his feet didn't touch the ground!
Where did Tom Thumb get his surname?
From his father!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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