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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny easter messages and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Happiness is Clinton's face on a milk carton.
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Sport Joke
What did the bumble bee striker say ? Hive scored !
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Aviation Joke
A mother and her son were flying 'Southwest Airlines' from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The stewardess asked, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?' He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said, 'Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time. '
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Men Joke
Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
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Mouse Joke
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them ? Mice Krispies !
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.
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Joke for Holidays
O MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:54 times the sheets were clean17 times it was too late49 times you were too tired20 times it was too hot5 times you pretended to be asleep22 times you had a headache17 times you were afraid of waking the baby16 times you said you were too sore12 times it was the wrong time of the month19 times you had to get up early9 times you said weren't in the mood7 times you were sunburned6 times you were watching the late show5 times you didn't want to muss your new hairdo3 times you said the neighbors would hear us9 times you said your mother would hear usOf the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactorybecause:6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move. TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons youdidn't get more than you did:5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat36 times you did not come home at all21 times you didn't cum33 times you came too soon19 times you went soft before you got in38 times you worked too late10 times you got cramps in your toes29 times you had to get up early to play golf2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls4 times you got it stuck in your zipper3 times you had a cold and your nose was running2 times you had a splinter in your finger20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV. Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was , 'would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?' The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
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Clean Humor
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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