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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny easter images and other funny jokes |
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Computer Joke
Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.
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Burger Joke
How do you make a hamburger smile? Pickle it gently!
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Medical Joke
Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor, and you'resitting on the examination table telling him about yoursymptoms, and with each new one you describe, he backs alittle further away?
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Joke of the Day
Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an attractive female, and they go back to her place. 'You can't make any noise, ' she warns him. 'My parents are upstairs and if they find out they'll kill us!'Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after a while alcohol gets the better of the man's bladder. 'I have to go, ' he says. 'Well you can't go upstairs, it's right next to my parents' bedroom, ' she replies. 'Use the kitchen sink'. So he dutifully retires to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he pops his head round the door and asks. . . 'Do you have any toilet paper?'
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Law Joke
Q: Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?
A: They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.
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Bar Joke - 1
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him 'every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?' The man replies, 'I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home. '
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Doctor Joke
An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his left leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, 'I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it. '
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, 'That's impossible! It is illogical! That just can't be!'
The doctor says, 'What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?'
The patient answers, 'I'm no doctor, but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all, my right leg feels just fine. '
'So what?' says the doctor in a bit of a professional huff, 'What difference does that make?'
'Well the right one doesn't hurt a bit, and it's exactly the SAME AGE!'
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Military Joke
Private Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: 'I have an inferiority complex. ''Nothing I can do for you', said the doc. 'In the Army privates don't have an inferiority complex. . . they're just inferior. . . '--------------------------------------------------------------------------------An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: 'When I was of your age I thought nothing of a ten-mile hike. ''Well, I don't think much of it either, ' replied the GI.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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