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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny easter greetings and other funny jokes |
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Fishing Joke
What's the biggest fish you ever caught? 'That would be the one that measured fourteen inches. . . . ' 'That's not so big!' 'Between the eyes?'
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Elephant Joke
What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !
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Blonde Joke - 2
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!
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Situation Joke
A guy calls the hospital. He says, 'You gotta send help! My wife's goinginto labor!'The nurse says, 'Calm down. Is this her first child?'He says, 'No! This is her husband!'
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Best Joke Online
My father and mother were recently celebrating their 50th weddinganniversary. While cutting the cake, my mother was moved afterseeing my fathers eyes fill with tears. Mother took his arm, andlooked at him affectionately. 'I never knew you were sosentimental, ' she whispered. 'No, no, ' he said, choking back his tears, 'thats not it at all. Remember when your father found us in the barn and told me to eithermarry you or spend the next 50 years in jail?''Yes, ' my mother replied. 'I remember it like yesterday. ''Well, ' said my father, 'today I would have be a free man!'
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Military Joke
A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldn't read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ship's electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, 'Well, it's too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bo'su n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing. '
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Pig Joke
Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We're raising mashed potatoes.
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Spoof Joke
A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, 'Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died. ' 'Well, ' replied the man, 'she must have had a lot of friends. ' 'Nope, ' said the farmer, 'we all just want to buy his mule. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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