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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny dp pics and other funny jokes |
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Money Joke
What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough).
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Brother and sister Joke
Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ? Because she wants to rise and shine.
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Weird Women Joke
When the milkman found a note on one of his customer'sdoors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart, he rang the bell. 'Sorry to bother you, ma'am, ' he said, 'but are you sureyou want sixteen gallons of milk today?''Oh, yes, ' said the lady of the house. 'I'm going to takea milk bath. ''Do you want it pasteurized?''No, just up to my tits would be fine. '
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Birthday Joke
Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. 'Next time, take off the candles. '
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Stand Up Joke
Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by. After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway. 'Your husband is very sick, ' the doctor said. 'Still, you can do three things to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthy meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment and don't complain about anything. Finally, have sex and oral sex with him every day. 'The doctor left and the woman returned to her husband's room. 'What did the doctor say?' he asked. 'I'm sorry, m'dear, ' she said, 'but he said you're not going to make it. '
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Spoof Joke
Tom : I found twenty cents on the sidewalk. Jim : That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning. Tom : But, what I found was two ten-cent coins!Jim : That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.
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Hair and bald Joke
Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn't, nature beat me to it.
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Car and train Joke
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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