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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny dog clothes and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 2
One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.
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Priceless Joke
What did the baby chick say to his mummy when she laid an Orange?' Look what Marma-Lade!! '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
You have to be really secure to be seen in this car.
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Spiked Humor
You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. The homeless are invisible. The subway makes sense. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. You think $7. 00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying 'The Big Apple'. Your door has more than three locks. You go to a hockey game for the fighting. In the stands. To participate. Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. You complain about having to mow it. You are a skee-ball juggernaut. You consider Westchester 'Upstate'. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Judge Wapner.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
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Funny Famous Joke
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!
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Father Joke
Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their holidays. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the Summer.
'We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota,' he said.
'That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,
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Divorce Joke
A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. 'Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!' Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. 'Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?' 'Oh, I know! I just can't hear it enough!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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