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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny desktop background and other funny jokes |
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Funny School Kids Joke
What lives in gum trees?Stick insects!
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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Sports Humor
Why is 'red' the colour of the University of Georgia?Because they can't spell 'crimson' or 'scarlet'.
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Top 100 Joke
Bill Clinton got off his helicopter in front of the White House with a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said 'Nice pigs, Sir!'The President replied 'These are not pigs. They are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea. 'The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, 'Nice trade, Sir!'
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Insect Joke
What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
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Marriage Joke
Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work!
But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on.
It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job.
The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. 'How did it work out?' they asked.
'Well, it was a great dinner, Jenny said. 'Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening. '
'But what about afterward?' her friends wanted to know.
'It didn't work out,' Jenny said. 'Charley was too tired. '
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School Joke for Kids
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in thecollection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him thatperhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into givingmore. 'And just how would I go about doing that?' he asked. 'It is very simple. First you turn off the air conditioner so thatthe auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotonevoice. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in aslow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in thecollection plate. 'So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo andbehold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills! Now, the preacherdid not want to take advantage of this technique each and everySunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then triedhis mass hypnosis again. Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, thechain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loudthud and springs and parts flew everywhere. 'Crap!' exclaimed thepastor. It took them a week to clean up the church.
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Monster Joke
A very tall monster with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor's shop. 'I'd like to see a suit that will fit me, ' he told the tailor. 'So would I, sir, ' said the tailor. 'So would I. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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