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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny decals and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out! Certainly, which way did you come in?
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Joke for Speeches
* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money. * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it. * Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. * The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. * Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. * First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else. * Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references. * Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale. * Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location. * Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one. Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway. * The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. * Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle. Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off. * Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. * Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services. * Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is. * Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.
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Dumb Joke
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. 'How did you get that mark on your chest?' asks the doctor. 'Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love, ' she replies. A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. 'How did you get that mark on your chest?' asks the doctor. 'Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love, ' she replies. A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. 'Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?' asks the doctor. 'No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?'
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Food Joke
What's red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.
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Cow Joke
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!
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Horse Joke
What has four legs and see just as well from either end? A horse with his eyes closed!
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Family Comedy Joke
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!
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Spelling Joke
Can you spell a composition with two letters? SA (essay).
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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