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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny cushions and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon. . . ?A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he's had enough. The bartender said, 'I've got to ask you - what's with the pocket business?'The man replied, 'I have my lawyer's picture in there. When he starts to look honest, I've had enough. '
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Funny Kids Joke
What's a mouse's favorite record?Please cheese me!
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Miscellaneous Joke
Stressed out. . . try some of these relaxing tidbits :)1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. (This one is great to teach neices and nephews!)2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill. (Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!)3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. (This one keeps cats and men occupied for awhile. )4. When someone says 'Have a nice day' tell them you have other plans. (Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?)5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are. (And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available. )6. Dance naked in front of your pets. (Not recommended for anyone with a pet Gorilla. )7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong. (You can get real creative here. . . especially if you put a dress on your son. )8. Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages. (Trust me. . . they're in there! I found 70 in just the A's!)
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Fishing Joke
Which fish go to heaven when they die ? Angelfish !
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
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Redneck Joke
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes . . . BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too. 1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
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Language Joke
How many letters are there in the alphabet?Noel, noel, noel, noel . . . the angels did say. . . E. T. went home. Get rid of X. There's too many unknowns in the world already!(Only one vowel left, or is that 'Anly ana vawal laft' This may be stretching it a bit, but not unless you consider, as our good friends in Canada say: Good day, A!And we all know that M&Ms melt in your mouth, so it's safe to count them out. And of course, Y not. We might as well put off using U until later in the year: See U in SeptemberTWA just took off!!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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