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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny computer backgrounds and other funny jokes |
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Rabbit Joke
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going togive up the city life, move to the country, and become a chickenfarmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turnsout that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. Theneighbor came for a visit one day and said, 'Chicken farming isn'teasy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100chickens. 'The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the newneighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmersaid, 'Not too good. All 100 chickens died. ' The neighbor said, 'Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more. 'Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The newfarmer says, 'You're not going to believe this, but the second 100chickens died too. ' Astounded, the neighbor asked, 'what went wrong?What did you do to them?'Well, says the new farmer, 'I'm not sure whether I'm planting them toodeep or not far apart enough. '
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Christmas Joke - 2
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, 'I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle. ''Do you think it will work?' she asks the doctor. 'It's worth a try, ' he says. So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, 'Father, you're not going to believe this. ''What?' says the priest. 'What happened?''You gave birth to a child. ''But that's impossible!''I just did the operation, ' insists the doctor. 'It's a miracle! Here's your baby. 'About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, 'Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father. 'The son says, 'What do you mean, you're not my father?'The priest replies, 'I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father. '
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Ethnical Joke
There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time. ' 'Well, ma laddie, ' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that. ' 'Oh, ' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes. '
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Animal World
A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. 'This one's $'5
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Elephant Joke
What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !
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Worst Joke
A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician. He was in a hurry to leave on an emergency call, so he asked her to quickly bare her stomach, then reached into his desk and took out a rubber stamp, which he pressed beside her navel. He then rushed off. At home, she and her husband tried to read the tiny words printed on her belly, but they were too small. They then found a magnifying glass and tried to read the words; the stamp read: 'When your husband can read this without his glasses, it's time to get yourself to the hospital!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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