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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny clips online and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I just filled up my car with gasoline. Now it's worth $50. 00
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Bed Joke
The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.
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Irish Joke
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. 'Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die. ' 'Shure, an' why would he be dyin'?' asked the other. 'Ah, he's gotten so thin. You're thin enough, and I'm thin -- but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together. '
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Christmas Joke - 1
What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.
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Romance Joke
'Was your wife a virgin when you married?''I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no. '
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At Work Joke
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount ofgoods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. Thecollections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, 'We can'tship your new order until you pay for the last one. 'The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, 'Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long. '
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Kids Puns
Rules For Work: (Should go over well with your boss. )Print it out and hang it over your work station. . . I dare ya!1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs. 5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic. 6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work. 7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. 8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped. 9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. 10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. 11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell. 12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager. 13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
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Technology Joke
What's the definition of AIDS?Anally Injected Death Sentence.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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