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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny christmas text messages and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it!
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Car and train Joke
A tiny racing car was developed by American scientists. The Americans then sent the car over to Japan to see what the Japanese could do to better the car. The Japanese added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than sent it to the U. K. The British scientists, to better the car, added a sound system and window tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese, who added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car. The Chinese then sent it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at the tiny car, appreciated all the modifications the other countries had made, turned it over and stamped a sign on it. . . . MADE IN INDIA!!!
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Simple Joke
3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview. The first man walked into the office . The interviewing FBI agent said 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun. ' The man took the gun, hesitated, and said 'Sorry, I can't do it. 'The next interviewee came into the office. The Agent said 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun. ' The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked out. 'Sorry, ' he said. The last man came into the office. The inverviewer said 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun. ' The man took the gun and went into the room. The Agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming. The man came out of the room and said 'Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!'
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia's more outrageous computer publications, 'Computing Australia', 21st Sept 1987: . . . Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held responsible for a 'potentially lethal error' involving a Mafia loan collector. A New York paper inadvertently put the `heavy' in the running for a pair of custom-fitted concrete shoes when it identified him as a 'ruthless informer'. According to a published retraction (and apology!), a writer on the paper had actually typed 'ruthless enforcer' - but the computer system's spelling checker liked it the other way. And I thought the worst you could expect from a 'computer error' was a bill for a million dollars!
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Funny College Joke
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !
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Law Enforcement Joke
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand.
The lawyer asked, “When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing?”
“Yes, sir, they were. ”
“Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”
“Yes, sir, she did. ”
“And,” looking at Judi, 'what was it she said?”
“She said, ‘What disco am I at?’”
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Dumb Blonde Joke
And more on blondes. . . Q: But why do brunettes take the pill? A: Wishful Thinking.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
This blond teenage dragged her boyfriend to the court on paternity issue. The lawyer asked, 'How long are you having a sexual relationship?' 'Years, I tell you years' she replied. ' Thats no answer, you have to specify howlong has he intimated with you. ' 'I don't know exactly, its average, aboutsix inches'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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