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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny christmas rhymes and other funny jokes |
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Hair and bald Joke
Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it's not on her head!
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Easter Joke
Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee? It's a tender tail!
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Cop Joke
One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, 'At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your life?'
'That's right. ' The farmer replied.
'Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?'
The farmer explained. 'When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life. '
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Business Joke
'The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You're gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man. ' - Jay Leno
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Simple Joke
Three men are golfing. There is Jesus, Moses and an old man. They've been pretty evenly matched until they arrive at the 11 hole to find a huge water trap. Moses tees up, and smacks that ball right out into the middle of the trap. Without a second thought he parts the water, hits the ball and gets it on the fairway, one stroke from the green. Then Jesus tees up. He smacks his ball right into the middle of the water trap. Without a second thought he walks out on the water, and hits that ball right onto the green. Finally the old man tees up. He hits the ball into the water trap. A fish swims up from the bottom of the trap with the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the fish and carries it over the hole, where the fish drops the ball and it plops into the hole. Jesus looks at the old man as Moses pencils another 1 in the old man's card. 'Alright Dad, stop showing off'!
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Birthday Joke
What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!
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Spoof Joke
Did you here about the new dog breed of dog?It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie. First it bites off your leg, and then it runs for help.
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Joke Online
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there. Don't get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can`t take the credit. This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man. Look, don't go to a mind reader go to a palmist I know you've got a palm. Hey! I know what sign you were born under! RED LIGHT DISTRICT! I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter? We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone. Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you? I'd like to break the monotony where's your weakest point? The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor? I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank! You say you are a West Pointer, but you look like an Irish Setter. You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change. Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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