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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny christmas greetings and other funny jokes |
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Gorilla Joke
Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings? The elevator men are on strike!
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Love and Marriage Joke
In West Kerry, the wife commented, 'When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. You don't love me any more. . . . ' 'Nonsense, darling, ' replied the husband, 'you cook better now. '
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Teeth Joke
Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.
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Joke Online
If god had wanted us to run around naked, we would have been born that way.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Despite The Cost Of Living, Have You Noticed How It Remains So Popular?
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Free Adult Joke
Batteries not included. Been napping in front of the ion shield again. Been playing with his wand too much. Been playing with the pharmacy section again. Been short on oxygen one time too many. Been using her head as a mass driver. Blew his O-rings. Blew the hatch before the lock sealed. Blocked one too many hockey pucks / soccer balls / punches with his head. Blown/leaking head gasket. Born a day late and like that ever since. Born during low tide in the gene pool / swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. Born ugly and built to last. Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat. Brain is running on empty. Brain like a hard drive with no read/write head. Brain permanently in power saving / 8-bit mode. Brain transplant donor. Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint. Bright as Alaska in December. Bright as an acetylene torch -- without an oxygen supply. Brings binoculars to submarine races. Broadcasts static. Bubbles/leaks in her think tank. Built a special showcase for his herd of pet rocks. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. Caboose seems to be pulling the engine. Cackles a lot, but I ain't seen no eggs yet. Calling her stupid would be an insult to stupid people. Calling him a pea brain would be an undeserved compliment.
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Funny Men Joke
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. 'Louise, ' he moaned, 'Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?''Even worse, ' she assured him in her most scornful tone. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face. ' 'He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!' 'You did. All over his suit, ' Louise informed him. 'And he fired you. ' 'Well, screw him, ' said John. 'I did, said Louise, 'You're back at work on Monday. '
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Worst Joke
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu. . . Broiled Missionary: $25. 00Fried Explorer: $35. 00Baked Politician: $100. 00. The cannibal called the waiter over and asked , 'Why such a price difference for the politician?'The cook replied 'Have you ever tried to clean one of them?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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