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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny christmas emails and other funny jokes |
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Waiter Joke
What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.
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Funny Famous Joke
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man, 'Where did you get such a big lighter?'The man replies, 'See that man playing piano over there?He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish. 'So the guy walks over to the genie and says, 'I wish for a million bucks. ' All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks. The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, 'That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he. ' The guy replies, 'no kidding'!You think I asked for a 14 inch bic!'
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Women Joke
Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.
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Space Joke
Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.
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Journalist Joke
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. 'Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?' To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No, I won't sleep with you tonight!' Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, 'I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations. ' To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, 'What do you mean $200?'
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Rasta Barbie . . . she's got a tie-dyed t-shirt, dreadlocks and reggae CD; rolling papers sold separately
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
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Doctor Joke
A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.
A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell. By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.
By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. 'I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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