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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny chain texts and other funny jokes |
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Children Joke
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold creamon her face. 'Why do you do that, Mommy?''To make myself beautiful, ' said his mother, who then began removingthe cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
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Random Joke
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face. Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news. Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first. Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live. Guy: And the bad news?Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Guy: Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!
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Insect Joke
What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !
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Humor Joke
Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store? A. 'Some day my prints will come!'
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Police Joke
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, 'Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?' 'That it is, 'Irish Mike replied grimly, 'ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball. ' 'You mean you pinched his honor?' asked Pat. 'How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?' demanded Mike. 'Well, ' mused Pat, 'there's a lesson in this somewhere. ' 'That there is, ' replied Irish Mike. . . . ' 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover. '
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Miscellaneous Joke
While your child is on his lap, he tells them they're not getting his Bud Light. You see his sleigh pulled over and the police with a breathlyzer. Those darn milk and cookies never worked but the Jack Daniels does! You don't remember getting a request for venison in your stocking. Betty Ford releases him on December 24th. After each child, he has a Jello Shot. This year the sleigh is being pulled by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull. He jumps down a manhole and then gets angry when he can't find the tree. Instead of going Onward, Dancer and Prancer. . . he just grumbles and says 'Awww. . . just get going!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ? Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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