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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny card messages and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Cabot ! Cabot who ? Cabotret !
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Family Comedy Joke
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says 'I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?'The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks. The guy asks, 'What's up with these clocks?'St. Peter explains, 'Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged. 'The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why is that?St. Peter explains, 'Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock. 'This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, 'What's the story with that clock?''Oh, that, ' St. Peter replies, 'That's OJ Simpson's clock. We decided to use it as a fan!'
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Website Joke
Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber.
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Poker and Gambling Joke
A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, 'When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?' The dealer said, 'When you eat out do you tip the waiter?' 'Yes. ' 'Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me. '
'OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. . . I'll take an eight. '
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Rabbit Joke
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
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Joke for Holidays
What did the gynocologist say to his wife when he got home?I'm Bushed!
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Women Joke
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure. ' The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, 'Dad, why are wedding dresses white?' The father looks at his son in surprise and says, 'Son, all household appliances come in white. '
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Car and train Joke
Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. ' Ghost: Why don't you take a train? Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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