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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny car air fresheners and other funny jokes |
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Science Joke
A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, 'I put Vaselineon it every night. ' That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went to bed. His partner George said, 'What in the hell is that?' 'It's to grow hair. ' he replied. 'Bull shit!' said George. 'If Vaseline grew hair. . . I'd have tail a mile long!
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Dog Joke - 2
When does a dog go 'moo' ? When it is learning a new language !
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Fishing Joke
Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !
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Clinton Joke
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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Weather Joke
Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')
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Spoof Joke
This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware of. . . THE CLINTON Virus. . . . (Gives you a 6 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus. . . (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)THE LEWINSKY virus. . . (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did)THE RONALD REAGAN virus. . . . (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)THE MIKE TYSON virus. . . . (Quits after two bytes)THE OPRAH WINFREY virus. . . . (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200mb)THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus. . . . (Deletes all old files)THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus. . . (Disks can no longer be inserted)THE PROZAC virus. . . . (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus. . . (Only attacks minor files)THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back). . . and last but not least. . . THE LORENA BOBBITT virus. . . (Reformats your hard drive into a 3. 5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)
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Ghost Joke
What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub? The landlord said 'Sorry, we don't serve spirits. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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