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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny caps and other funny jokes |
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Gorilla Joke
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
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Law Joke
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
'So, what is it?' grumbled the governor.
'Judge Garber has just died' said the attorney, 'and I want to take his place. '
Replied the governor 'Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker. '
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Spoof Joke
There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation. The doctors gathered at his bed afterwards to tell him the bad news. 'Ohhhh no!!!' the patient wailed, 'I'll never be able to experience an erection again!''Of course you'll still be able to experience erections, ' replied one surgeon, 'only it will have to be someone else's!'
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Gorilla Joke
Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!
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Religious Joke
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Honda. . . because the apostles were all in one Accord.
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Old age Joke
Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy today. When I was your age I got up at six o'clock every morning and walked five or six miles before breakfast. I used to think nothing of it. Fred: I don't blame you, Grandpa. I wouldn't think, much of it myself.
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Car and train Joke
What song does a car radio play? A cartoon (car, tune).
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Dirty Joke
A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was 'Yes. ' Asked how she used it, she said, 'To assist sexual intercourse. ' The interviewer was amazed. He said, 'I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?' 'Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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