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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny bubbles and other funny jokes |
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Clinton Joke
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party.
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Computer Joke
Satan greets him: 'Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says 'I'll take this option. ' 'Fine,' says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. 'That was Bill Gates!' cried Lucifer. 'Why did you give him the best place of all!' 'That's what everyone thinks' snickered Satan. 'The bottle has a hole in it!' 'What about the PC?' 'It's got Windows 95!' laughed Satan. 'And it's missing three keys,' 'Which three?' 'Control, Alt and Delete. '
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Old Age Joke
We're over the hill but don't feel sadThis side of the hill ain't all that bad. So give us 'five' and then a smileTo us who have been here for awhile. With by-pass pain and mended hipAnd plumbing fixtures prone to drip;We all may seem a sorry lot, But we rejoice for what we've got. We have each day and what it bringsAnd on our pensions live like kings. For the press that accuses what we takeTo coin a phrase, 'Let them eat cake. 'We've paid our share for unused knowledgeAs the kids are now all done with college. We complain to them about our healthAs they worry about our dwindling wealth. And though our wardrobes may be plainWe'll suffer no more labor or pain. Now it's with cane we do our strutAnd if we can't drive - we still can putt. We're mean and tough, meet all demands, Why, M&M's melt in our hands. Yes, we're still here, and it does delight usThat you join our fight against arthritis. But we ask you make a pledge todayThat you'll be careful what you say. We have to spread 'Over the Hill' fearOr we'll have those young folks over here.
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Joke Online
Can u believe what people do in the church these days? I was in the church listening tothe priest's sermon when i saw a guy smoking cigarettes inside the church. I was so amazed that i didn't know when the bottle of beer i was holding fell on the floor.
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Dirty Joke
Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team.
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Computers Joke
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsISDN It Still Does NothingAPPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing EntitySCSI System Can't See ItDOS Defunct Operating SystemBASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry ControlIBM I Blame MicrosoftDEC Do Expect CutsCD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in MonthsOS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too. WWW World Wide WaitMACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
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Horse Joke
A mean school principal who rides on weekends went into a tack store and asked for one spur. 'One spur?' said the store owner, 'Surely you mean two spurs?' 'No,' said the principal, 'Just one will do. If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it. '
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Firefighter Joke
Q: What word begins with the letter 'F' and ends in 'UCK'? A: FIRETRUCK.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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