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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny bow ties and other funny jokes |
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Parent Joke
Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
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Situation Joke
Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. 'Excuse me, miss, ' said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. 'The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you have for the past week. ' 'What difference does it make?' Joan asked rather calmly. 'No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel. ' 'Not exactly, ' said the embarrassed little man. 'You're lying on the dining room skylight!'
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Bizarre Joke
So this guy wants to go into a nightclub, but the bouncer says -'Sorry, bud, you need a tie for this place. 'Our Hero goes back to his car and rummages around, but there's no necktie to be found. Finally, in desperation, he takes his jumper cables, wraps them around his neck, ties a nice knot, and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the nightclub, where the bouncer says. . . 'Well, OK, I guess you can come in. But don't start anything!'
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Easy to Remember Joke
A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:Assume you drive your car at light speed. What happens when you turn on the head lights?
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Business Joke
1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances. 2. Came dressed in only a towel. . . again. 3. Ran out of paper clips. 4. I've decided to telecommute. 5. Ambassador to Belgium is at the White House. 6. It's a long drive home to Texas. 7. One-day sale at Macy's. 8. My brain is melting!9. I think they found me out. . . 10. Accidently erased the whole week's work off the computer disk.
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Joke for Kids
Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, 'Who killed Jesus Christ?'The Jewish man answered without hesitation 'The Romans killed him. ' The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied 'Jesus was killed by the Jews. ' Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, 'Could I have some time to think about it?' The chief said, 'OK, but get back to me tommorrow. 'When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked 'How did The interview go?' He replied, 'Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!'
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Police Joke
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. 'You'll get your chance in court. ' said the Desk Sergeant. 'No, no no!' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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