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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny board games and other funny jokes |
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Old People Joke
What are seniors citizens worth? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet.
As for myself, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John. After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention.
When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!
P. S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, 'Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself. . . 'What am I here after?'
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Mad Joke
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead. They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time. First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her. Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3. . but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her. They didn't like people yelling fake incidents. Then the blonde stepped up and she thought that yelling a mother nature disaster was a good idea. They yelled 1-2-3 and the blonde yelled FIRE!
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Telephone Joke
Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions).
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Bed Joke
Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? She spent the night popping out of bed.
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Weird Women Joke
Why did the Avon lady walk funny? Her lipstick.
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Love and Marriage Joke
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, 'Mommy, why does the girl wear white?'His mom replies, 'The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life. 'The boy thinks about this, and then says, 'Well then, why is the boy wearing black?'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: Because she loved children.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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