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The
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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny bluetooth names and other funny jokes |
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Various animal Joke
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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Best Joke
A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?' To which he replied. 'That would be fine with me. ' Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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Judge Joke
Judge to witness: 'And where was the location of the accident?' Witness: 'Approximately milepost 499. ' Judge:: 'And where is milepost 499?' Witness: 'About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500. '
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Joke for Speeches
This 82-year-old man married a 22-year-old woman and they decided that they wanted to have kids. So after trying for a while with no success, he went to see the urologist, pretty discouraged. The urologist said not to get discouraged and that they could run some tests. 'Take this specimen jar into the bathroom and leave me a specimen to test, ' the doctor said. The old man closed the door, and about an hour and a half later, still had not come out. The doctor came by and asked, 'Are you alright?''No' the old man said. 'This just isn't going to work. ' he dejectedly explained. 'There's no hope for me, I've worn out my left hand, I've worn out my right hand, I've run cold water over it, and I've run hot water over it. I've even thumped it on the edge of the sink. But no way can I get the top off this specimen jar!'
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Humor Joke
Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
We're Spending our Kids Inheritance
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Yo momma Joke
You mama's so skinny . . . . she can hang glide with a dorito!
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Honk if you hate noise pollution!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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