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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny birthday text messages and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, 'Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant. ' 'And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct, ' asked the rejected applicant. 'We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed, ' said the Department manager. 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?' the rejected applicant inquired. 'Simple, ' said the Department manager. . . 'Your fellow applicant put down on question #'5
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Mouse Joke
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside ? A mouse sandwich !
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Bumper Stickers - 1
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
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Assorted Joke
A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, 'Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our visibility. 'The passengers were numb with fear, except for one. . . a semi-retired minister. . . 'Now, now, keep calm, folks' he said. 'Let's all bow our heads and pray. 'Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray. . . except fellow near the back. 'Why aren't you bowing your head to pray?' the minister asked. 'Well, I don't know how to pray, ' replied the passenger. 'Well, just do something religious!' piped up another well meaning passenger. So the man got up and started down the aisle passing his hat. . .
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Bumper Stickers - 7
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.
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Funniest Joke
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, 'Gimme a chap stick. 'The pharmacist asks the duck, 'Will that be cash or charge?' The duck replies, 'Just put it on my bill. 'The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk, 'Give me a box of condoms. ' The clerk says, 'Do you want me to also put them on your bill?' The duck says, 'Hell no, I'm not that kind of duck!'
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Burger Joke
Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? On a bed of lettuce!
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Ethnical Joke
Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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