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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny birthday ideas and other funny jokes |
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Mother Joke
'Be good and for your birthday I'll buy you a motorcycle!'
'How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?'
'Don't bother wearing a jacket--it's quite warm out. '
'Let me smell that shirt--yeah, it's good for another week. '
'I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity. '
'Yeah, I used to skip school, too. '
'Just leave all the lights on. . . it makes the house more cheery. '
'Could you turn the music up louder so I can enjoy it, too?'
'Run and bring me the scissors! Hurry!'
'Aw, just turn these undies inside out. No one will ever know. '
'I don't have a tissue with me--just use your sleeve. '
'Well, if Timmy's Mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me. '
'Of course you should walk to school and back. What's the big deal about having to cross a few main streets?'
'My meeting won't be over till later tonight. You kids don't mind if we skip dinner?
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Computer Joke
Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now. ' Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'. ' Tech Support: 'Well?' Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
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Book title Joke
Fade Away by Peter Out
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Criminal Joke
What diploma do criminals get? The third degree.
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Burger Joke
How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball? He throws four meatballs!
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Naughty Joke
The morning after their honeymoon night, Julie says to herhusband, 'you know, You're really a lousy lover!'Her husband replies, 'How would you know after only 30 seconds?'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
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Funny Famous Joke
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: 'What are you doing here today?'Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it. 'Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25. 'The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center. Man: 'Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?'Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] 'Unh unh. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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